ONE

She turns one this week. We made it! I remember those final moments in the hospital when I was hit with the realization that the nurses were not coming home with me… panic. The panic soon ended when I came home to my mom. She was there for almost 2 weeks. My confidence was building. Then 2 days before she was to return home the panic hit again. This time I was home alone. Brad left to go to the store, and my parents were having lunch with a friend. I was left alone with a newborn and 2 dogs. Someone left the door ajar (cough cough Brad) and our runaway dog, Dixie was out in no time. I ran out the door to holler for her, but she ignored me. I called Brad sobbing. The truth is I hadn’t learned that it was okay to put the baby down in her bassinet or some safe place and walk outside for a few minutes. He came back but I was mess on the floor. I was hit with the fact that I may not be able to do this. That someone was going to end up hurt, lost, or hit by a car. So I did what every hormonal person does, I cried. And for the next 2 weeks I would cry at the drop of a hat. And guess what? No one has died, been lost, or hit by a car. I realized thanks to the book, “On Becoming Babywise” that our family was a team. No one was more important or more special than anyone else. Although, there will be times that one will require more attention ☺< That is suppose to a smiley face, I realize it looks like a frown face.



I have learned so much since those moments when I realized I couldn’t do it all. I learned that I can’t do it all, but I can still do a lot. I learned that nursing is hard, it does not always come naturally, and O’Doul’s really do help your milk supply. I learned that formula isn’t poison. I learned that a mother needs “me” time and it is not selfish. I learned that sometimes you just have to ask for help. I learned that a good cry is just as therapeutic as the best psychiatrist. I learned that you have to write things down because the moments are fleeting. I learned that there really is such a thing as motherly intuition (and I think mothers should be given honorary medical degrees). I learned that the prayers I thought were fervent before my daughter was born were nothing compared to my prayers now. I learned babies really are resilient (thank goodness). I learned that dogs will adapt, and done correctly will be your baby’s greatest protector and first friend. I learned that your child awakens a part of your being you never knew was asleep. I learned there is nothing as heart warming than watching a man become a father. I have learned that becoming a mother was my favorite career move. I learned that I had no idea a child could bring so much happiness into our home.




I don’t know if I can explain this well, but I am going to try. Before I was pregnant, but I knew the time was approaching that I wanted to be, I would get anxiety in the middle of the night. Anxiety thinking that maybe in a year I will have a baby and my life will no longer be my life. That I will be giving up so much, particularly sleep - I was very worried about sleep deprivation (why that of all things I have no idea, but I love sleep). Then we had this healthy baby who, in our eyes, was beautiful and flawless. What were my anxieties pre-pregnancy were not all my anxieties once I brought her home. She was worth my lack of sleep. She was worth the birthing recovery. All the hardships I had in my mind before her, were no longer viewed as hardships, they didn’t even seem hard. (Ok, the newborn sleep cycles are hard, but she got sleeping down fairly quickly). My life is still my life, our life is still our life, but now we have this wonderful little person in it, who is ONE. Happy birthday my sweet daughter.

It is still Easter in MST

Easter of 2011

Easter of 2012

We have made the cycle of the "firsts". Here we are a year later and we are back at her very first holiday, Easter. Last Easter I was sitting on an inflatable donut, trying to figure out nursing, and thinking my body will never ever go back oh, and I would never wear jeans again. This year I didn't need a donut, I finally figured out nursing (but now it is over), my body is almost back (10 more pounds), and I am wearing jeans again, and our little Apple is a happy, bouncy, healthy [and still my baby] girl.

P.S. Today's weather is how every Easter should be. Sunny and 72 degrees - very springy.

Protector

I went for a jog tonight, after dark. As I was on the last stretch with my house in view; outside waiting was my neighbor. I stopped to say hi, when she promptly started laying it into me that it is dangerous to run alone in the dark (bless her heart - she is the reason I feel safe when Brad is gone. One scream and her and her rancher of husband would be out with their shot guns). In mid sentence she stopped and said, "Oh, you have Sydney never mind." That is right. I am aware of the dangers of jogging alone, in the dark, with headphones, but with Syd I feel 100 percent safe. Really safer with her than any human jogging partner. She maybe 8 years old but her senses are still keen as if she were a 2 year old. Just ask the boys hiding behind the sign wanting to scare me. Syd noticed them 2 blocks away (and our blocks are loooong here). She got in stealth mode, or stalking border collie mode. She is a working dog after all and she was on duty. The poor boys didn't even know I had a dog with me, until Sydney scared (I am certain pee) out of them. I won't lie it was awesome.

P.S. Some may ask why I take Syd with me, and not Dixie. Not fair really, but Dixie is a terrible jogging partner (and I have tried to teach her time and time again, but with no success) She stops all.the.time. Goes from one side to the other. Barks at everything. She does much better (and prefers) to be off of a leash, free, in a field with her Frisbee. She is fast, nimble and amazingly agile. She doesn't like to be restricted by a leash, so she gets plenty of running time at the field with her beloved frisbee.

Here she is waiting (impatiently) for her frisbee to be thrown.

Because...

Because going over is so much easier than going around.

And, she has learned how to climb. It started with stairs, now she thinks everything is climbable. And sometimes she is right.

A Post All Its Own

I heard a very memorable quote while in Florida. I thought to put it in my Florida post, but the quote is such a classic that it deserves a post all its own.

It was a bit of a fiasco when we got into Florida. My parents and I were arriving at the same time. They rented a car with an infant car seat. However, due to a high speed chase which the driver took to the run way of the Philadelphia airport the plane was delayed and my parents missed their connecting flight. They would not be arriving in Florida until 10 pm and I arriving at 3:30 pm.

(I am telling you this because this was the reason my grandmother was in the airport in the first place).

My grandparents were going to come and rescue the babe and I, however, we had no car seat. The car rental agency was kind enough to allow my grandmother to pick up the car seat early.

(I promise the quote is coming)

While my Nanny was in the airport arranging to have the car seat, a TSA agent passing by asked if he could be of any assistance. Her response,

"Oh no, I just came in for a pat down, I am lonely."

Vacation

I went to Southern Florida to visit my Grandparents, as well as, my parents who flew down to meet us. My grandparents live in Florida for the winter, and every year we get invited for a visit, and every year I had the sorry excuse, "I have to work". But not this year. We went and I loved it. It was beautiful. My Nanny, is a wonderful host/tour guide.

We spent a morning at this beautiful beach. Really, it was perfect. We went early to find a good spot, and a good spot we found. There are picnic areas and grass areas surrounded by palm trees and shade trees, and then a little ways the beach starts. We found a spot in the shade on the grass and it was perfect. No sand to worry about and the Little Miss sat on the blankets and played away.

I sat her in the water.... she was not a fan.

We ate at beautiful and delicious restaurants.

Thank you for the wonderful trip.

Our way home we had a 30 minute connection in Atlanta. If any of you know the Atlanta Airport it is this... BIG. You have to take a shuttle to get from terminal to terminal. I figured I could easily make 30 minutes as long as the terminal was close. Well, people you know life. And it was life. I had to wait 10 minutes for the agents to get my stroller (after I spoke to the gate agent in FLL airport if he could prioritize my stroller so I could get it right away, his response, "They are really fast, you won't need that." After I finally got the stroller I learned our plane was boarding and was as far away as you could get. I ran. I made it as they were closing the door. Whew. Not the kind of risks I like to take.

A View

Maybe the fact that it is a shorter month made February fly by (however, that is usually NOT the case). And now I have left the dreary cold to come here:

Visiting the greats

And the grands

When I return I will post of my February shenanigans as well as this trip.

A Pleasant (and unexpected) Surprise

You know those days that you feel frumpy? Ugly? Not skinny? Maybe it is due to sleep deprivation and the lack of hygiene and my snot covered shirt, either way it is a "frumpy" day. My baby has another ear infection (actually it isn't technically another one, because it just never went away). And a husband in Montana (will be back tonight - not long). So today has been a bit of a daze. But while getting the babe to eat her applesauce (only thing she will eat right now) packed with probiotics (they had to up the antibiotic to a much stronger one). My door bell rang. I went and there were flowers from my not-so-romantic husband. I guess I better make a retraction from my previous post. Needless to say, due to the frumpiness of the day, sleep deprivation, and lack of hygiene I started crying. Along with the flowers was a teddy bear, who I knew just who that was for. And well, that made me cry harder. Because really he is such a good dad. I don't think I need to say it but it turned my whole day around.

Love is in the Air

It's the season again. When love is in the air. When single women everywhere are reminded that they are single. And taken women everywhere are creating expectations about what their significant other will do for them. Private fireworks show? Rent out an entire restaurant? Propose on a private jet? Rent out Disneyland???? The list goes on and on. And don't you fret my friends, Brad and I are no different. We are as hopeless romantics as you can get. My expectations are HUGE. And why shouldn't they be? Have you met my husband? Romeo move over. Come on, look at I this gem I just received:

Be.still.my.heart.
My heart fluttered at the word "zombie".

Oh, your spouse/ whatever actually sends you love notes? Pfft... this is a love note.

What does this look like to you?

Oh, you thought trouble? So did I.