Kids say the darn'est things...

So tonight I was caught thinking about my preschool teaching days and some of the things I miss (and don't miss about it), and I realized I miss all the funny things kids say, so here are just a few things I've had kids tell me.

1. After lunch we always had naptime. Some days when the kids were being grouchy I would tell them, "You really need a nap today to get rid of that attitude." And one day that came to haunt me. It was a day the kids were being particularly difficult, I was cleaning up lunch and getting the nap time stuff out; when cute, witty and smartalic Joshua said to me, "Miss Julie you need a nap today to get rid of that attitude!". I told him, "You have no idea." He said, "You can have my bed!"

2. Cute little Rachel who pronounces her "r" as a "w", and for the most part had a pretty funny way of saying things told me, "Miss Julie you have a mustache! And not a milk mustache but a weal mustache." Needless to say I waxed that night.

3. I had cut my hair, a real cut from long to above the shoulder. When I walked into work my class was playing outside, David asked, "Who are you?" I said, "David it's me Miss Julie" he replied, "But Miss Julie that's not your hair."

4. We were using brown paper bags for an activity. I had told the kids (who decided to wear them) not to do that because it could be dangerous. Zachery came running over to me with a paper bag over his head and said, "See Miss Julie I'm not dead yet."

5. I was training a teacher who carried most of her weight in her stomach area. When Rachel (yes, the same one) asked her if she had a baby in there.

6. Rachel (yes, the same one, are you seeing a pattern) was telling me about her dad (which I might say is always a bazaar story) that she had a sleep over at his house (previously she told me he was in jail) so I asked, "Was your dad there?" She said "No, Michelle watched us." I asked, "Who is Michelle?" Rachel: "His sugar hunny". (I had to ask her to repeat three times, because I couldn't believe she said that)

7. We had a male teacher by the name of Harry so the kids called him "Mr. Harry". One day we were getting the kids to sit in a circle but they were not listening, so he began to speak in third person, he said "Mr. Harry is not happy with your listening skills" Connor very confused replied, "D'ere two Mista Har-wees?"

8. As I had the class lined up to go outside I noticed Adam started flipping up his middle finger at everyone. As he was doing this, of course, all the other children try to do the same, by using their one hand to pry up their middle finger on the other. I said, "Adam, that is not a nice thing to do, you do not do that here." I knew his parents very well, so I asked, '"Where did you learn that from?" He said, "Oh my Mom and Dad do it in the car all the time."

WARNING: THIS NEXT QUOTE MAYBE A BIT TOO MUCH FOR SOME, SO BEWARE

9. Some of the kids were talking about mustaches and why people have them, one little girl felt it very important to tell me and the class that... "My mom has a mustache down there!" (I don't think I need to mention where she pointed to).

TO ALL YOU PARENTS - YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED AT WHAT YOUR KIDS REPEAT!!!

Here is a list of some of things I learned:

1. I know where tattoos are on most of the parents (if they have them)

2. I know when one of the parents slept on the couch

3. I know when Daddy bought flowers for Mommy (see good things too)

4. I know that Daddy likes to yell at the TV and dance like he has to go potty

5. That Mommy's eyeballs, and only the eyeballs look up at the ceiling a lot when Grandma is talking (this one took me awhile, it means rolling her eyes).