Gratitude

Tonight as I rocked my darling baby to sleep I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Grateful that I could rock my baby. Grateful that she is healthy. Grateful that I can hear her cry. I am grateful for those first 2 weeks of sleep deprivation because it meant my baby was healthy, grateful to have the opportunity to have those first 2 weeks.

My dear friend gave birth to her baby girl yesterday. A day that began as one of the happiest turned to one of the most devastating and painful. In the moment she got to hold her baby and set her eyes on the most beautiful being she has ever seen, her baby was taken from her arms. Her baby was born with a congenital heart defect, a sad surprise in the words of her mother. Her heart was born on the wrong side and is missing a ventricle. The baby was flown to a children’s hospital to be seen by top cardiologists, and will undergo the first of 3 major heart surgeries on Wednesday.

With a baby two months old my first moments after birth are still vivid. I can only imagine the pain of my dear friend. The emptiness she is feeling, and I begin to feel terrible that I complained about those first 2 weeks. I had the audacity to complain when my dear friend and so many others would give anything to have those first 2 rough weeks. I am grateful for the most extraordinary experiences and opportunities my beautiful baby brings to me. Grateful she came into my life safe and sound.

I am grateful for the reassurance I feel from the Lord; knowing there is a higher power Who is in control, and the knowledge we can seek Him.



"I will say of the Lord. He is my refuge and my fortress: In Him will I trust."
- Psalm 91:2