*FIVE*

Five years ago I became a mother, and a whole new life was born.




















 Oh, young first time mother, Julie the things I wish I could tell you, that you would just have ignored.

I always wanted to be a mother so I thought it would come naturally and easily, and frankly, it didn't. The transition was rough. I felt like I had to figure out my identity all over again. I made it more difficult than it had to be. I have an habitual problem of making mountains out of ant hills. Motherhood has been no exception.
But motherhood has made me grow more as a human being than anything else.
I am more proud of who I am today than ever before and I have my daughters to thank for that.
I didn't lose my identity; the focus changed.
Raising human beings has forced me to evaluate the quality of human being I am. It has pushed me and motivated me to be better. Perhaps I would have done this just by maturing? But I think motherhood was a catalyst for it.

And I do believe, this is our first family photo.

And here is our girl.
-->  I often feel the urgent desire to write her apology letters all.the.time. The poor first born child a.k.a the guinea pig. The mothering failures for this child are the successes for the next one.

She made a place right in our hearts with her sparkly eyes and sweet soul.

She continues to delight us with her bright smile and thirst for adventure.

She loves arts and crafts. Her drawing skills are quite impressive, but not as impressive as this girl's social life. Just the other day, she went to FOUR different friend's houses, FOUR, and that's not counting when her friends came to our house.

She loves dance class and loves to tell jokes, jokes which usually involves "poop'.

For example, "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had to... go poop." She even pauses for dramatic effect and laughs her little head off after she says it.


And these were her school/dance pictures.

We Have A Teenager

Some doggie turned 13 in February and some little person insisted we MUST have a birthday party for her. So we made dog friendly cupcakes and homemade dog treats. We made party hats and we put up our birthday banner and pictures of the honorary person... or dog.

It was actually quite fun. I am glad B was so insisted. We had a fun time getting it all together.

Happy 13th Syd! You will never read this one day, but I hope we convey how much we love you around here. You are my children's greatest protector, my constant companion, and the greatest monster/ghost/whatever-B-comes-up-with EATER alive.

Easter

 Here is our little Califlower, donning my 3 year old Easter dress.

 I just couldn't get a good one of big sis, she kept dancing :)

I was a little late on signing up the girls for an Easter Egg hunt (mostly because I am indecisive - to do or not to do?) However, at a local farm they do an Easter doggie egg hunt, and that wasn't sold out and I knew they would have just as much fun (if not more) helping Syd find some eggs. And they did, they loved it. Califlower however, did NOT love the Easter bunny.

 And we all got a wagon ride.
And you maybe thinking "but what about Dixie?" Well, the dog has to be leashed the entire time, and well Dixie, is an entirely different dog on a leash. She is a bit of a feral dog I suppose, and leashes bring out a naughty behavior in her.
 

 Then we invited family over for a night of Easter Egg fun.
We did learn that the best and brightest colors are not from the egg dyeing kit but from just the normal food coloring with vinegar, we added food coloring to the egg kit colors just to make the colors brighter, bolder, and well, better.

 

B had Brad draw a cat on one of her eggs, but the egg cracked and I let C eat the egg. End.Of.The.World. 

So my niece was so kind and drew a cat on paper for B to keep forever. 

She cherishes it. It's on her nightstand.  

Then it was Easter.

 Easter baskets found.

 Later in the afternoon we finally found the Easter Eggs the Easter Bunny hid.

Motherhood

While dressed in our best on Easter Sunday (and my hair actually styled) I had Brad take some pics. And I think they are enlargement worthy (probably because Brad took them and not me). 

I think I wrote on here about what Brad's uncle said about his grandmother, that she wasn't just surviving 6 children, she was thriving.  That has become my mantra for the year, "don't just survive, thrive". I couldn't get it out of my head. I wanted to thrive as a mother not just survive. But let's be honest, there are some days of motherhood that are just plain survival, but that's in any area of life.

  Motherhood has been just one continuous comedy of errors. Seriously, I am numb to embarrassing situations now (which is a bit liberating in a way). But motherhood has also been a very empowering experience for me. It has taught me more about who I am (and frankly, who I want to be) than anything else.  Before I go to bed I often think about what kind of human beings and I raising? It makes me self reflect as I question my own quality of being. Sometimes I get racked with anxiety about the limited time I have with them. B starts kindergarten next year and I think my time of being 100 percent influential is dwindling, and I wonder "Have I done enough?" 

I love these little girls. They sometimes make me question my sanity but never my love.

Christmas Day

 The necessary photo on the stairs.

 B was not indecisive in the least when it came to the present she wanted from Santa, she said "sled" in October and it remained a sled until Christmas morning. 

 

 Califlower, however wanted a black cat. And I mean a real black cat. I don't do cats so after a lot of trying to change her mind she said an "elephant". We took her to the animal shelter and could play with the kitties to her heart's desire. And you know, to Grandma's. 

 Christmas craziness in full swing.

 And it snowed! A perfect winter storm on Christmas day.

We opened gifts from Meme and PopPop while talking to them on skype. 

 Grandma and Grandpa came to visit and brought presents.

 And it was a perfect day to test out the new sled. 

(She actually wanted princess sled... ummm we couldn't find one so my resourceful and optimistic child she is, found her Princess Stickers and made it a Princess sled - thus the stickers).

Then we put the kids to bed, Brad went to bed early so at midnight we could load the jeep with suitcases and children, and drove to sunny San Diego! 

Do I dare say, that last minute travel is my favorite kind of travel? 

No stressing, no planning, just book and go!

Did I mention we loaded the dogs too?

We enjoyed a week of these views. 

It was a fantastic week. I loved every bit of it. There was a part of me that didn't want to leave right after Christmas. I wanted to enjoy being at home with the last of the Christmas decor, but in the end it was one of the greatest weeks.