Week One

She is a week old. 

So many differences between this recovery and the last one, except the weepy stage. 

Why do I get weepy??? I thought with a better recovery I wouldn't get weepy but it doesn't matter. I cry at the drop of hat. B likes to do these group hugs with Brad and I, she did one this morning and I bawled from her sweetness.

We got newborn pictures. A wonderful photographer who didn't have a time limit. She patiently waited for the kiddos to have happy faces. 

 This picture of my girls melts my heart.

Before Lil C was born her entire pregnancy I had one major anxiety, "how can I love another like I love my first?"  Honestly, this fear was in my mind and heart even up to the day she was born. I confided in my cousin this fear, because I didn't dare say it out loud and make me seem like a horrible mom. My cousin whose kids are 13 months apart, and let me add the second are twins told me, "You will. When you hold one your heart will want to burst and when you hold the other it will want to burst too. They are a part of you and that makes them each special." When I first held Lil C I knew exactly what she meant. Our Miss B and Lil C have different stories. Different pregnancies, different deliveries, and already at this age different personalities. And yet, they are both the most cherish gems in my heart.

As I said so many differences, one being how relaxed I am with this baby. The poor first child. With B I was a wreck. I worried about nursing, how often she had a wet or dirty diapers (really I charted and wrote everything down including which side she nursed and how long). And it turn the stress didn't help. My milk took a full week to get in. She didn't latch that well. I would cry because I couldn't nurse.  It eventually came but I never was a great milk provider. With C, I didn't worry as much. I can't really explain why, maybe the fact that I have a two year old who is still very much alive and very healthy; who asks to eat apples and bananas and for milk (Let me tell you how successful I feel when I hear, "Mommy, nana pwease." Don't worry she asks for candy just as much. I had confidence with this second child. And in turn, she latched right away. My milk came in three days. She has plenty of wet and dirty diapers. No, I am not writing anything down. I nurse her when she acts hungry. I have learned this young of baby doesn't need a schedule, not yet anyway. Yes, I was already trying to get B on a schedule at one week and that added stress to my life when it didn't work. now, I realize newborns are just learning about the world. The last thing she needs is a schedule. Just as B got on one so will she.

I have noticed since I am more relaxed so is this baby. And, let me reiterate again, poor first child.

And before I forget just a few differences between the two before I forget:

B hated being swaddled; C loves it.

B More high strung (I think this is due to me); C relaxed.

B took a bottle very well; C, I have yet to introduce it. 

 B would be up every 2 hours at night; C usually only wakes twice a night. 

Similarities

~They look like their daddy. I think C has a little more of me in her but she is still very Brad. And so, they both look a lot a like. 

~Both love the swing

~Both love to be sung to 

~The dog's barks never startle them 

 People ask how is B. She is still doing well. She still loves her sister to pieces, and doesn't quite understand giving C her personal space. She loves, LOVES to hold the "bebe". B still gives Brad and me plenty of kisses and hugs. However, and I mean a big HOWEVER. B has started throwing tantrums, and I mean they are EPIC. They have subsided since my parents have been here, and B who loves her Pop Pop, has been getting dotted on from sunrise to sunset. I am prepared for the tantrums of epic proportions when they leave. Good thing we can go up to see Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandma lets her play in the hose, which is the greatest thing in the world for this 2 year old. 

Anyway, that is the update of our life. I feel blessed, and it makes me cry (seriously, though it does). 

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes, and cards and emails. 

Also as you know our dogs are a very important part of our life. Sydney loves when the babies are small like C, (you know before they can poke and pull on her fur). She sits by her sniffs her, kisses her. Dixie, is completely aloof. She cares when the baby can finally give Dixie attention :) Honestly, if B didn't have Dixie I think things could be a lot worse.

She has Arrived!

Our sweet "Lil' C". 

Thankfully, a very uneventful delivery, except for the part that she was posterior, which left her bruised and swollen, but nothing long lasting or life threatening. It just added a little hurdle. 

It was a total of 6.5 hours from the time my water was broken to delivery. I told the doctor I will only push for an hour this time (I pushed for 3.5 hours with B). However, she came out after 10 minutes of pushing. They placed her on my chest  and I couldn't believe I had just had a baby. Everything about this experience was so different than our B's. For one, my doc was in town and he really is a wonderful doctor to work with. The medical team we had just rocked.

 In labor. 

She came to visit me. She just brightens my day. I missed her terribly while in the hospital, but I enjoyed my bonding time with my littlest gal.

 

As I said the medical team rocked.  My doctor and my nurse in the maternity ward. I got the nurse for both days. The nurses do 12 hour shifts and 3 or 4 a week, so we had her all day.

 

Her visitors. 

 

But the most important visitor of all. I love her face as she studies her new sister.

 

 

 

So far, B loves her... a bit too much. Constant kisses and constant in your faceness. But I'd rather she be like this than hate her or me. Our first night home, I did the bedtime routine with B. We read a ton of stories and sang a ton of songs. I thought after the crazy couple of days she had she may just need "Mom time" (and I did it preemptively before she starts acting out and it's too late), sometimes you just need your mom. I am trying to make the transition as painless for her as possible. I will let you know how it goes :)

Getting ready to leave.

 

PS Daddy dressed B. 

 My girls.

Waiting for Baby

After a whirlwind month, we came home and got into baby mode. But things started getting complicated. My blood pressure decided to inflate, as in 160/100 high. So careful monitoring began. Multiple doctor visits, non stress tests, and blood work each week. I was told at any of those appointments to be prepared to be admitted and induced. I had preeclampsia with B so they are trying to avoid that with this one. I had an appointment on Wednesday, and I was really really hoping they would admit me and induce me. The worrying and the multiple appointments are getting old. So we had everything ready. The child, the dogs, the bags were all ready. We even had one last family date night at the farm the night before. And guess what?? My blood pressure improved, it hasn't been that good in weeks!  But they moved up my induction date and I can handle that. 

But onto our date night:

She loves "an-ee-mulls".

Me, hoping my last photo pregnant.

 What it looks like when I look down. I actually had to stick my foot out really far, I can't see my feet when I look down.

And we ended the evening at the ice cream shop, with ice cream and french fries.

She loves all things dessert. She is my child after all.

Here is to hoping my next post is introducing our newest addition :)

San Diego

We finished the month of May with a last minute family vacation to San Diego. Brad had a conference in San Diego, and it was my last week to fly so we thought, "why not?" 

We enjoyed the zoo and the Safari park.

And Sea World. 

My one pregnancy shot with this little gal. 

Pennsylvania

We had an unplanned visit to Pennsylvania in Mid-May. When my Grandfather passed away, Brad got the Little Lady and me tickets to go back so I could attend the memorial. I try to avoid mushy love stuff, but really he is the greatest person on the planet for getting me those tickets. I was so happy to be home. To be with my family to mourn and to laugh and to reminisce. 

Funerals, as sad as they are, an event that bring people together. My grandfather's memorial was on Mother's Day. This was the first time my grandmother had all four of her children, all eight of grandchildren, and two of her great grandchildren with her on Mother's Day. I don't know a better Mother's Day gift my grandfather could have ever given her.

The night before we had a wonderful evening with my family. We celebrated my aunt's birthday. It's been years since she celebrated it with her siblings and her children.

 Here is the memorial. It really was beautiful, touching, and hilarious. It is exactly how I would want my funeral to be. I am sure he loved it, however, he would prefer to be the one telling the stories.

My dad officiated the funeral, and he did a wonderful job. All my dad's siblings talked and told stories about their dad, and they were funny. Then while my dad was on the phone talking to someone, I learned I was to say a few words. Luckily, I had made that blog post earlier, so I had material. 

 As nervous as I was, I am really grateful and honored that I got to speak and tell my stories about my Pop. Of course, I was the most emotional out of everyone, I blame this on pregnancy hormones. But as I got up there to speak, I was touched by really what a wonderful grandfather he was, and how lucky I am to have/had him as my Pop, and well, a over hormonal human being can only take so much emotion before it comes out in tears. 

His death, has been harder for me now than it was when the news first hit At first, I knew he was really sick, and this was for the better. But now that the dust has settled, I have forgotten his sick days (because they were so few compared to his healthy days) and I only remember him vibrant and so alive. It's the little things that get me. We make this garlic parsley butter that goes on corn on the cob (my SIL actually introduced me to this) which I in turn introduced to my family. And my Pop who loved butter, LOVED this stuff. He would put it on his hamburger bun. As I made it, I smiled at the thought of it; visualizing him sitting at the end of the table with his very own little bowl of garlic butter as he would spread it on his food, then teary eyed because I knew I would never see it again.

I am glad to hear my grandmother is doing well. She has been continuing on with life, sad at times I know, but as a whole doing very well. Nanny, now you can get on a plane and visit finally ;) My Pop always talked about driving here (he loved to drive) however, I can't blame my grandmother for avoiding a 2,000 mile drive - after my grandfather got a prosthetic leg he hated flying and I mentioned he was stubborn, right?

It's June, already?

Playing Catch up. May flew by. We were busy from start to finish. Made the 8th month of pregnancy go fast though. 

We started the month on a romantic getaway to (be prepared to be blown away)... Boise, ID. 

My dear friend got remarried after being widowed for 15 years, and she is like family to me so we went up to support her. 

We tended our neighbor's kids last month so they repaid the favor and offered to take B for a weekend. This was our first time away from her. I am fairly certain it was harder for us than for her. But it was nice to just have one on one time with each other and not have to drag a diaper bag around. 

Here is a picture of my work gals and the bride.

Stay Tuned....

A Bittersweet Good-bye

May 21, 2005

He had no idea I was going to take this picture. I told the photographer, "I want to give my grandfather a kiss can you capture it?" His response is real and genuine. My favorite picture.

 

 

 

 

My Pop passed away this morning. It is bitter sweet. He lived a beautiful long life and was only sick for the last 6 months and especially sick the last week of his life. He didn’t suffer pain this week, for this I am grateful. However, it is bitter because I will miss him.

He often made me laugh, he may have made me roll my eyes a time or two; he was a stubborn and opinionated man after all. And I say that with love.

My grandfather was indeed a family man. Family was important to him. He came to every grandparent day I had at school, every graduation, every play or musical I was in and just supported me.

I have a lifetime of memories of my Pop. After all he was a very prominent person in my life. However, my fondest memories of him will always be my college days. When I came to Utah for college I would get calls from him reporting my local weather. The calls particularly came when there was snow in the forecast (which was all winter long). He would say, “Jules, it is snowing in Utah today. How are you getting to class?” It always made me smile. It always made my day.

My Pop taught me many things. One of those was being proud of my heritage. He was a proud German. He was proud of his family, and the pride was passed on through the stories.  I loved my maiden name. It represented this heritage. How far my family had come. The sacrifice that was made so my life would be better. When I was married I had planned to change my name and take on Brad’s name. However, I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be for me. It meant so much to me. I changed it nevertheless, but there are a few documents that I have kept it on.

Pop also taught me endurance, whether it was listening to the same story for the 100^th time :) or completing a job thoroughly. He taught me hard work, all those spring-clean ups at the country. He taught me to value hard work, he compensated very very well. He taught me you can never have too much butter, and it makes everything and I mean everything better.

He was a lover of soups, msnbc, and driving.  He only bought American cars, and when I say that I mean only Fords. He detested raisins. His heart belonged to the Country.

My grandfather does not believe in life after death, he thinks death is the end; but I don’t. I know I will see him again. And I look forward to the day when I get to see the recording of him opening his eyes and realizing it isn’t the end and hear his reaction which I can only imagine is probably this, “Dammit to hell”.

I love you Pop. I will miss you greatly. Until we meet again, xoxo.

August 31, 2011

My Sister-in-Law could beat up your Sister-in-law

That's what I would say if I was still in grade school. 

Because really she is my hero.  

With the nursery furniture needing to go to a new baby, Miss B needed big sis furniture. I searched everywhere, then went to our local classifieds and found the perfect set. Brad and his brother had been planning to work on the basement tonight, so I knew they wouldn't be of any help (and really the basement is very important that was not a project I wanted to hinder for furniture). So I called up Andrea. They as always tweaked their plans  so she could come with me and help load up furniture in Chris's truck we borrowed (especially since me being pregnant I would be slightly worthless, even not pregnant I am so weak).

We loaded up 3 kiddos. By the end the littlest ones were in tears.

 Also did I mention the battery died while we loaded furniture so we needed a jump?

Here is Andrea carrying out the heaviest piece of the set.

And then it was she, who tied it all down so it was nice and tight. (Because let's be honest I have no idea how to work the ratchet straps).

And then I made her drive the truck, because she is a better driver than me. And we made it home! Nothing damaged. 

We also may have said a prayer or two :)

So if you haven't figured it by now, it was all her that did this. All I did was find the furniture. Why she still agrees to help me is beyond me, but boy, am I glad she does :)

My Pop

My Pop is undergoing an emergency surgery at this very moment. He has been sick since Thanksgiving. As I was looking back at photos and videos I came across this one. Healthier days these were.

The Raw Unedited Me

 

I was challenged this week to share who I am, so here it goes:

I often speak and act before I think things through and this gets me into trouble and has cost me us money on more than one occasion. Trying to overcompensate for not thinking things through, I frequently over think things and it still ends in the same result of trouble.

 I wish I were more assertive and less of a doormat.

I am a wannabe granola.  I wish I could be more homemade, more health and environmentally conscious, I wish I could be a naturally birthing mama but I am not ashamed to admit I was made for modern medicine.

I feel extremely blessed to have married into a wonderful family. I have no sisters, and I married a man with three (beautiful) sisters whom welcomed me right in.

I would love to live next to the coast.

I live 2,000 miles away from my family and I miss them every day. I talk to parents daily. So I figured if I am going to live far away might as well be next the ocean, right? 

 

I have an inner feminist and an inner fairytale Princess and they are often at war with each other.

I can’t drive manual, and it terrifies me when Brad wants to do (another) practice session. We have had a manual car for 6 years and I still can’t drive it, pathetic.

I love my husband with every bit of my heart but I am not afraid to admit that there is no other human being on the planet that can make my eyes roll more than him. At the same time, there is no one else on this planet that can make me smile more than him. We have days when we just get each other, and then there are days that he is obviously from Mars.  Also I think we can never get divorced… because he knows too much. :)

I hate being wrong [period]

I hate snakes and the winter. I love my dogs and summer.

I love being a wife.

I love being a mother but hate being a homemaker.

I hate horror movies, the last one I ever saw was May of 2003 and it was The Ring it took me a month to sleep again and years to forget.

 I often have flawed logic, but it doesn’t stop me from believing what I do.

I hope every person who walks into my home feels welcomed and loved and comfortable to be who they are. 

And I'm a Mormon.